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I treat other people differently, is they skirt the issue. They don't talk to me about him as much anymore and I like to talk about him. And, you know, I like when people say, "Tell me about Dennis." I love to talk about him and I hope I do that with other people.
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I was surprisingly clear headed. My son was home from college and I had called him to come and meet me at the hospital, which he did. And I remember saying to the doctor, "It's bad, isn't it?" And he said, "Yes, it is." And I said, "I have a daughter who is in Nepal." She was there on a study program. I said, "Should I be calling her?" And he paused and then he looked and he said, "You should call her." And I still get a shiver when I say that because I sort of knew what was going to happen at that very moment.
Yeah, my family, my sisters were in town and we had planned to go to a local restaurant; one that Dennis had chosen and liked. We had a great meal and February has always been a hard month. It's, you know, the month of everything. He had his stroke a year ago February. My father died. And it was the last day of February and I raised my glass at dinner, and I can't believe I did this, and I said, "Let's toast to getting through February." We toasted and within a half an hour Dennis had collapsed in the restaurant and was in a coma and never came out of it.
I've also learned that people don't like to talk about it. You know, they're very sympathetic at the beginning and they're really kind and most people are always kind, except they want you to move on. People really want you to move on, even when you feel you don't want to move on. And what I found, and I hope Omega Speedmaster 2002
Where I could be alone or I also have family, but it was a place without memories and I actually welcome that. You know, because my apartment, everywhere I turn, there are memories. New York City, every street, every restaurant, every, Omega Women's Watch Vintage
One weird thing that's happened to me, and it's not a great thing, is that I've always liked to have a lot of control. You know, I like to control situations. This has taught me I certainly can't control the important things, but I've become even more of a control freak. And it takes the form of I've become a crazy neat person. Like, if there's a pile of papers they have to be perfectly lined up. And I thought to myself, "What is this? Am I getting like OCD or something?" And I realized, I've learned a scary thing. I can't control the things that matter in my life.
it seems, every building has a memory. This had no memories and it was almost a symbol of starting something new. It was saying to me, "You're moving forward. You're planning for a future." And I don't know if I'll ever live in the country full time, but it symbolized to me that life was different and I was building something new.
You know, you're in bed and you're alone and that's when I found the sadness, the grief would overwhelm me. And Omega Seamaster 565 that's when I would, you know, that's really when I would think, "Oh, my God. This is all real." You know, yes, you feel very alone and scared and at a loss and, you know, the nighttimes are hard. But the daytime you can keep very busy. And I'm an expert at keeping busy. And, as I said, there's diversions or decisions to be made. So much had to be done. I had people everywhere, but there comes a time every day when you're alone and you feel just how alone you are, especially when you're spent the last one, two, three decades, however many it's been. In my case it was two decades, almost everyday.
I remember saying to my kids, I was sitting with the two of them, and I said, "I'm a widow." And that word is so shocking. It's, you know, I still somehow see, you know, old women in black garb when I think of widows. And one of my kids, I can't remember which one, said to me so quickly, "Don't ever use that word." Really sharply. I mean, I think it stunned them to say that. And I don't use it a lot. I sort of, you know when people ask, I say, "My husband has died." But I rarely say, "Oh, yes, I'm a widow."
Yeah, we went in an ambulance to the hospital and the trauma team was ready for him and they took him in, gave him a CAT scan. And the doctors came out and they said to me immediately, this was a very, very severe hemorrhage. And I said to them, "Here's what you have to know about me. I stay calmer and think more clearly if you give me a lot of information and so don't hold anything back." And that's exactly what they did and it was helpful, just to really be able. You can't absorb when something like that is happening, but, I don't know, some people don't want to know a lot. I wanted to know everything so I could grasp the situation and maybe make some difficult decisions, which I could already see were coming.
day he died, it was early in the morning, I called Dennis and Dennis always went out every morning and he exercised, but he would have been back. It would have been about 8:30 9:00 New York time, and he didn't answer the phone. And he was a creature of habit, and I got incredibly nervous when he wasn't there in the morning, and I think my sisters and my mother thought I was just reacting, getting hysterical about my father's death because my father died moments before. But I just had this instinctual, very strong feeling that something was wrong, called a friend to go over to my apartment and check on him, and he had had a stroke the night before and had been on the floor for about 16 hours. He was conscious, but he couldn't move. So that was the beginning of huge changes in our life.
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Omega Seamaster 565
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